Today's is Go-I's birthday! Happy Birthday to my Hone's tita!:) More birthdays to come!
It's also Kisha's Dedication. Welcome to the Christian World! Another baby added on my list of inaanak.
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When I grow older, settle, have a family of my own, then my parents have aged, can no longer work for their own and they would be needing me to take care of them, I will take care of them- even if they become forgetful, even if they move too slow, even if they stink, even if all their hair have turned grey, even if they become useless and senseless... even if they become what very old people become. I will love them and take care of them. They are mine, my responsibility. I wouldn't count every bucks that I will spend for them. I wouldn't neglect them. They will be my responsibility, mine to have, mine to take. I wouldn't tell them that they are burden to me. I wouldn't hurt them. I wouldn’t get tired of taking care of them. I would just love them and tell them always how much I'm grateful to them rearing me wonderfully. I'll tell them always that I love them so much, next to God.
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Why am I blogging this sad feeling? Because I witnessed one. Let me just briefly narrate that my mom took my lola here in our house to have a Holiday vacation, since she's been with her 2nd child for the longest time. She had Christmas and New Year with us. I'm not actually close to her 'coz I grew up without seeing my grandparents much. Yet in her stay with us this previous year’s holiday season, my compassion with her developed maybe because I've grown and matured... and maybe because of Michael. You know, he's close with old people. He would even massage my lola's arms and make her smile... and she in return just like and appreciate Michael so much.
My Lola- She bore 10 children in her entire life. She and her husband gave names to their children chronologically that started from R, S, T, U, V, W, X Y, Z and P (which means period or end of making children)- all of children have 2 years age gap. She used to live in province with her husband and migrated here in Manila/Bulacan for almost several years already. She has been a plain house wife all her life. I don’t know if she has been a good parent to her children, if she was able to give equal time to each and every child she had. I don’t know if she reared them up all well or if she hurt them badly when they’re still young. All I know is that most of her children became bread winners of their family even when they’re young. The children established themselves, not the parents established their children. I don’t know each and every story but I know my mom’s- she was a working student who managed to balance both her work and studies. She was able to finish her studies because of her perseverance that without which, she wouldn’t become what she is today- a professional teacher who has earned her doctorate degree.
My Lola is widowed for 3 years now and has just turned 79 years old last Christmas Eve.Then, this day came that we needed to bring her back to her 2nd Child. I don't want her to call "tita", I gave it up long time ago when she once messed up with my family here in our home one dark morning. I've forgiven her but as often said, "Wounds heal, but it leaves marks." Since then, I prefer calling her somebody else or by her first name. She ruined our once beautiful relationship to her like a glass that can never be returned the way it used to be. When we got to my lola's 2nd child's place, only my mom (the 3rd child) and tito (the 4th child of my lola) entered their house to talk to her about my lola going back to her side. You know what she said? Well, I might not be able to quote exactly what she spilled but this is the closest words I understand she uttered that made my lola cry like a child. "Hindi ko na tatangapin dito si Nanay, magastos siya, wala akong pera, hindi ko na siya maalagan. Kung bibigyan nyo ng Php, 2000 a month, cge, pero kung wala, hindi ko siya tatanggapin." That was really hurtful! I didn't hear her say those words but it's like... uhhhh... she's so bad. Hindi naman siya gumagastos kay lola eh. Nagbibigay si Mama twice a month kapag pumupunta sila don, kinukuha naman niya yung pera ni lola. Nagpapadala yung isa nyang anak na nasa Canada pati na yung nasa Quezon. So what's her problem? Service na nga lang ang sa kanya, itinaboy nya pa ang magulang nya. Damn her! One day, she'll regret what she have done.
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So we left, and just settled things. We decided to bring her home again even if busy people really lives our home. We took responsibility of her. The set-up was, my mom and dad will be taking care of her in the late afternoon and evenings, and I being on the night shift starting today,will be with her in the morning when I get home, though of course, I will sleep in the other room, at least, I'll still be there somehow. Her foods will just be placed on the table. Then, there would only be at least 2 hours gap when I leave the house and before my parents arrive. I saw how affected my lola was. She murmured all her heartaches that afternoon. It saddened me. I suddenly realized that,
"It's not with the number of children you've had, but its with the quality of your children's attitude toward you once you've aged." It's better that I've been an only child all my life, at least, my parents are secured when they're old that I will be the only one who will take care of them. I have no one to turn them to. I won't do it anyway because I love them and I'm forever grateful that they've been an instrument to give me life.
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To all the children out there, "Love your parents. It's a commandment sealed by God with a promise." A promise of a long and satisfying life.
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"Mom's Love"
When you were 1 year old, she fed and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.
When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.
When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.
When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
When you were 5 years old, she dressed you fr the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.
When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school
You thanked her by creaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"
When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.
When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.
When you were 9 years old, sha paid for your piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, fro soccer to gymnastic, to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
When you were 13 years old, she suggested a haircut.
You thanked her by telling her that she had no taste.
When you were 14 years old, she paid for a month away for a summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write even a single letter.
When you were 15 years old, she came home for a work looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16 years old, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17 years old, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18 years old, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19 years old, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying goodbye-outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 20 years old, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."
When you were 21 years old, she suggested certain careers for the future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you!"
When you were 22 years old, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay a trip to Europe.
When you were 23 years old, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
When you were 24 years old, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for teh future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muthher,pleasse!"
When you were 25 years old, she helped to pay for your wedding, she cried and told how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving away half-across the country.
When you were 30 years old, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."
When you were 40 years old, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."
When you were 50 years old, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
and then one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your HEART.
*If she's still around, never forget to love her more than ever. And if she's not, remember her unconditional love. Always remember to love thy mother, because you only have one mother in your lifetime!!!
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It's my first day in Night shift. Glad to be with Lhen and Vic. I'll be spending a lot of money in transportation for this shift!
