God saves

True enough, God works in wondrous ways we cannot fathom. He takes control of everything. Today, I felt like I was falling from a high cliff. During the fall, I felt the pain in my heart. Every second of the fall added misery. It felt as if I can no longer breathe. During the fall, I've totally surrendered my life and accepted that I was really about to die. Yet I repeat, God works in wondrous ways we cannot imagine. He takes control of everything. In the very minute, that my head seems to reach the ground, in an instant flash, God catch me and save me, lifting me higher, higher, higher back in the peak of the cliff. I felt nervousness and joyfulness both at the same time. God works in wondrous ways we cannot fathom. He takes control of everything. He really does.

This really happened to me. I had my final interview today for the e-mail account. There were thirteen of us who were interviewed and only 5 will take the hot slots. When the time the personnel chose the applicants, there were only three names mentioned. One of the three is my friend (Ellon), so he had to stay. When we were about to leave the floor, the personnel asked my two other co-waves to stay (Sheryl & Roj) coz she said that they also passed... And I was left alone. Alone to go home. I did not went home alone, I was with another friend (Jhun- eyeing for another position). He comforted me. I said I was okay. But deep-down inside, I wasn't really fine.

Hours passed, I got home not in mood. I entered our home and I immediately went inside my room to change clothes, to take rest. Depressed and lone. I did not speak anything. I tried to hide everything that happened this day from my mom, while she kept asking and bugging me. I dialed my hone's number. I wanted to talk to him, so he could ease my sadness. I was hoping that he would have passed his final interview. However,he didn't. It added to my sorrow. I wanted to grief. But I just merely can't coz I'm trying to fight and to overcome my depression. Few minutes passed, the phone rang, it was for me. It was my hone. He knew how sadenned I was but he tried to cheer me up. After the short conversation, I've finally told myself to move on and go on... that tomorrow would be another day!

When I got into my room and checked my cellular fone, I got a text message stating that they needed one more candidate for the account and I was next in line. She asked me to get the medical endorsement slip the following day and to submit other requirements. When I read the message, tears fell from my cheeks. I cried out of joy. My mom saw how the tears of joy fell in my eyes, she also cried. I narrated her the day's story and we were both amazed how God made a miracle in my life today. In the corner of my mind, I still can't believe how things turned out to be. I thought Ellon was trying to bluff me. But he didn't. I was able to talk to Ellon and he said, that he would not dare bluff me at all anything regarding work- for it is a serious matter.

True enough, God works in wondrous ways we cannot fathom. He takes control of everything. Today, I felt like I was falling from a high cliff. In the very minute, that my head seems to reach the ground, in an instant flash, God catch me and save me, lifting me higher, higher, higher back in the peak of the cliff.Thank you, Lord! I love you so much!

Dilemma

I don't know what to do. I have another scheduled interview today for a CSR position (e-mail account), but i don't feel like going, it's raining cats and dogs outside and I'm thinking that I'll just waste my time, money and effort only to wait for the result for a long time... only to find out that I'm not qualified. What a heck! Besides, I want to work near home. But on the otherhand, this is what i wanted a week ago... to get the position... since I took my training in this
company.

Whoala! It drives me insane! I don't know what to do. My head says that I should go. But my body stops me from doing any preparations and so.

Just wanta' cry

I don't have to air anything, I'm real good but I want'a cry out loud yet there seems to be no place for me to do so and no reason at all. Oh Geez! Well, honestly there are but don't wanna think bout it and tackle (yarayarayara). Damn! It makes me insane. Juz want'a cry inside. Just here! I feel like bursting and there's nobody I can turn to except to put this into writing.
Now, I'm cryin' I am.

It isn't bad it's been time, since the last time I cried hard.

Soon I'll be okay! Oh Geez!

To whoever reads this blog, onething's for sure my tears have fallen when you finished reading this thanks for bearing! Bbyez! Tata!

Conquering Defeat

Strange. I don't know how it was but I am picking up the broken pieces of my dreams. I thought I was dead. I just got numb for awhile. Thinking it over, I didn't know how I questioned GOD. I wasn't able to understand His purpose... not even until now... or tomorrow... or months from now.

I'm in the point of losing my sanity because of that dopy ultimate chagrin. I just want an answer to my question, "Why?", "Why can't I?". I'm not born to be wretched just like that by those little-brain people who thinks they're pundit. This makes me think that they're the nincompoops, imbeciles and idiots who are mentally incapable. Ggggggrrrr...

I became rigid. Yet, my mom and dad especially my mom became my fortress in the distant world that I chose to live on those days of drought.

yUmi, pick yourself up! There... on the side, one more at the back... I can still see little rejected parts of you... don't forget to grasp everything that you own. Time is running, yUmi. Remember it is running.

Don't cry over spilled milk, it won't taste good anyway. These are the times when you should be firm... don't let them think you're incapable. Prove them. Stimulate your mind. Stabilize your heart. Then, ascend, ascend, ascend.

Ten years from now, you'll just be laughing at this incident of your life. Stop crying, yUmi. Your tear glands is literally dry.

Conquer Defeat.

Ooooppps, don't forget to utter God your "sorry".

"Lord, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for questioning you plans in my life. I let you drive my realm beginning today."