Losing a Sense

If you are to lose one of your senses, what would you choose to lose?

Of course, nobody would want to lose any of their senses, not even me. I can’t and won’t give up any of my senses- taste, touch, smell, feel, hear and sight. If I do, then, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate all the wondrous blessings of God.

Though, I know for a fact that I have an eye problem since I was in Grade School. I would always sit near in front of the blackboard and always in an aisle portion. Yet, it was already in college when I learned that I am part of the growing population of the Special Children who have eye defects. I even called myself a legally blind person.

I am myopic. My lenses are thick enough. I often do not want to wear it 'coz whenever I do, I feel twice older as I really am . So I tend to do my job, travel around and perform stuff not wearing the thing which will make my eyes see a 20/20 vision. (Well, except when I badly need to see something on board).

Back in June 2008, after recovering from "sore eyes", I was referred to see an eye specialist and undergo a test in eyes that would prove the doctor’s suspicion. I asked the ophthalmologist if it was immediate, she answered, “It wasn’t but it was necessary”. So, I postponed seeing a doctor. “I’m busy”. “I have no time”. “I forgot”--- these were my excuses to my mom and Mykel whenever they push me to see the doctor as I was advised. I postponed it for months and months and months and months and months and months and another month.

All along, I thought I’m okay. Yet, there were days that I feel I would fall down due to dizziness. Whenever that happens, my world literally revolves, even when I’m sitted. I started to worry about myself but as hard-headed as I can be, I still didn’t visited the doctor. Instead, I just changed my lenses and then continued doing my stuff. I didn’t have much time- I work at night and I was then taking two major subjects for the Graduate Studies in my 4th Term.

Until, 2nd week of December came and amazingly I had the luxury of time to do the things I always wished to do. So, I decided to see a doctor this time.

Our company’s HMO provider referred me to Dr. Abesamis-Dichoso of Medical Plaza. I told her about the doctor’s suspicion and my postponement of seeing further a doctor. She made a lot of things to my eyes—without knowing, everything were tests. She explained a lot of things to me and made me understand the processes that we were doing. She even informed me that the normal size of the eye is 3; some have people have size 5- but it is normal too, only there eyes are really big. Yet she told me that the size of my eyes is neither 3 nor 5. Mine is 4. I asked her, “So, I’m not normal?” She answered, “Of course, you are, but it’s just that- it’s the size of your eyes.” Alright. That was confusing. Not the normal sizes which are 3 and 5, but still normal. She even measured the pressure of my eyes. She said, “The pressure of your eyes is 18. The normal range is from 11 to 22. You are 18. Your eyes have a high-normal pressure.” She explained it was normal but high. So it’s still normal. Why bother more?

Dr. Dichoso was explaining that it was impossible for me to have the doctor’s suspicion 'coz it mostly happens to 1.) Asians- which I am; and 2.) People ages 45 and up- which I am not and far from being one, since I am only 24 years old. She told me that the instrument I was being referred to take is available only in Makati Medical Center, so she needed to refer me again the following day.

That following day came, I took the tests. The results seems unlikely. How did I know 'coz I heard one of the staff teaching another co-staff… “Kapag wala, dapat walang puti. E, yan merong puti,.” I wanted to continue her statement…. “So, meron?!” What the fudge! But I didn’t reacted, I composed myself, calmed down and waited for Dr. Dichoso’s interpretation and finding of the tests results.

When I went back to Medical Plaza, the results were really not yet available but the one I brought to Dr. Dichoso made her restless. She talked with the person who administered my test inside their room for quite long minutes. That moment, I wasn’t thinking anything about the result. All I wanted is to go home. When she was done talking on the phone, she called me inside a room, talked to me and said, “We need you to take diurnals.” What’s that? She continued, “It’s a series of test that will measure the pressure of our eyes, just like what we did yesterday.” Okay. “Yet, this time, we need to get the pressure of your eyes every hour starting 6:00 am to 3:00pm.” That long! “We will schedule that.” Ah, alright.

The scheduling happened. Originally it was scheduled on the 26th of December, but since I’m brainy and wise, I remembered that I have an excess Sick Leave in the office and thought it would be better to schedule it on the 22nd of December- Monday, so I wouldn’t need to go to the hospital on a day after Christmas when everyone are still resting (except for my workmates). As planned, 22 has been scheduled for my Diurnals.

Today, Hone took a leave in his work to be with me in my diurnals. Indeed, the pressure of my eyes was taken every hour. It wasn’t painful but I felt as if my eyes were very thick. It was a long process that I survived.

At the end of it, Dr. Dichoso said, “The results of the tests today were good. Everything’s normal, which is very different from the result of your test last Friday.” Aha. “Let me text you once we’ve discussed the results.” Whew! Thank God.

If I were to lose a sense, I wouldn’t allow it to happen. I know especially God wouldn’t allow it to happen to me too. I just entrust God everything.